The Early Yule Balls
by Cuppy
Summary: [ON HOLD] Lily and James' parents are killed by Voldemort. They have to stick together but Lily is losing the plot. Will she lean over the edge of the window or will she go to the Yule Ball with James?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and their names. I do however, own half the plot.  
  
The challenge: To write a story about the Yule Ball, etc. (Go to Fawkes Ashes if you want to join up, the link is in my bio and Fawkes/Orchid is the official person who set up the forum. Another member is 'Cyropi' so check her out too. She's pretty cool with her stories (nearly all should be under my faves!)). Basically, we could just about do anything we wanted as long as somewhere we included a bit about the Yule Ball.  
  
A/N: This is a little bit darker than what I usually do. It may (as I haven't written this yet) contain some language and powerful scenes and some self harm. As for the couple, well, after the first couple of breaks it should be obvious. Oh, and this is likely to be quite long so I will later on split it up. Anyway, onwards and upwards!  
  
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"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god," Lily Evans sat muttering. She had just received an owl saying her parents had passed on. Voldemort had come, he left, leaving bodies on the floor. She would have passed out had she not run for her life out of the Great Hall.  
  
As soon as she saw an owl flutter over to her, she knew that something dangerous had happened. She never received owls.  
  
Lily yanked out her wand, pointing at her heart. Shaking, she turned it to her wrist. Then, she muttered the transfiguration and it changed into a quill. She pulled out her diary, starting from the beginning.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
When James had seen Lily get a letter, he knew that something had happened. In all the time that she had been at Hogwarts, seven years, she had never received one letter, save one Valentines Day which was a mean joke from the Slytherins'. He visibly watched as her heart sank when her eyes scanned the sheet of parchment.  
  
She blanched, put her hand to her mouth and sprinted out of the hall.  
  
James had not stopped frowning since she had left.  
  
"Prongs! James! Unicorn! Hello?" Sirius asked, waving his hand in front of James' eyes. James blinked a few times, still puzzled before he realised a hand was moving in front of his face. Turning his head his face was still locked in concentration.  
  
"What?" he questioned irritably. Sirius started and looked at him.  
  
"I wanted to know who you thought would win at Quidditch tomorrow," Sirius replied. James blinked.  
  
"In all fairness, I don't care," he said, standing and walking out of the hall. Remus shook his head.  
  
"What's up with him?"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Lily cried tears onto her sheet of paper. The memories of herself and parents had poured out lovingly in ink, feeling up the pages with her handwriting. Some of the ink started to spread but Lily just slammed it shut and shoved it in her bag angrily. Voldemort would pay. She didn't know how, she just knew he would.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
James wandered up to the Common Room, the picture of seeing Lily at breakfast continually playing in his mind. The portrait opened and he glanced up.  
  
Lily stepped through the hole, her cheeks tear stained, her eyes red. Her bag was slung carelessly over one shoulder with her cloak creased. When she saw James she halted.  
  
"Lillian," James began, getting to his feet.  
  
"Look, Potter. Save it for someone who cares. I can't give a stuff much about anything at this present minute so just go toddle off with your animal friends," Lily spat. James scowled angrily.  
  
"Evans, lighten up. You really need to..."  
  
"Lighten up? Yeah, I'll bare it in mind," she finished, her eyes flashing. James started. She was really angry about something. Before another word was spilled out of his mouth, Lily stormed up the stairs to her dormitory.  
  
"Evans!" he called. Lily spun around.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You can talk to me if something is wrong you know."  
  
"Oh, ok. I'll remember that if I want someone to know my private details. Thanks," she yelled.  
  
"I'm serious."  
  
"So am I."  
  
James sighed.  
  
"I'm here if you need me," he said softly. Lillian looked at him for a bit, trying to decide whether he was telling the truth. In the end, she realised he was and continued up to her room.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Yea, Gryffindor!" Remus screamed above the crowd. Gryffindor were leading Ravenclaw in the Quidditch game, seventy - thirty. James was flying aimlessly around the pitch, his eyes searching for the Snitch but his mind playing over Lillian. Why was she so upset?  
  
A black ball hurtled his way, but James was oblivious as it was behind him.  
  
"JAMES!" Sirius bellowed. James couldn't hear anything, oblivious to the sudden silence of the crowd. A flash of gold and James was off, speeding towards the Snitch. It was in front of the teachers stand and as he zoomed closer, he rounded on the Snitch, catching it and grasping it tightly.  
  
"JAMES POTTER HAS GOT THE SNITCH!" the commentator cried. "GRYFINNDOR WIN!"  
  
Cheers of jubilation and happiness seeped from the stands as James swooped down close to the pitch. He was still oblivious to the fact that the bludger was still trailing him. It surged forward, knocking James in between his shoulder blades and bottom of his neck. He fell of his broom, tumbling forward.  
  
The bludger did a circle and slammed him in his chest, shoving the wind out of his lungs. He gasped as the keeper, Lucas Smith dodged around, slowly flying down to James' aid. Kara Mills and Hazel Flout also flew quickly down. One beater from Ravenclaw, Warwick Morris, clambered down quickly with his stick and slammed the bludger into oblivion.  
  
James by this time was lapsing in and out of consciousness. Sirius, Remus and Peter by this time had all arrived by James' side. Together, they carried him over their shoulders and helped him hobble up to the Hospital Wing and they placed him in an empty bed. Madam Pomfrey streamed into the room, administered some Bone Grow, Sleeping Draught and a Shock treatment.  
  
"He'll be fine, just a nasty blow to the chest," she informed them. They nodded and she sent them off to lunch.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Where's your friend?" Lily asked Remus at lunch. He averted his gaze to her.  
  
"Weren't you there?"  
  
"Nope," she replied.  
  
"Why?" Sirius butted in through a mouthful of food.  
  
"Stuff to do, places to be, homework to finish. Quidditch isn't my thing. Anyway, where's Potter?"  
  
"Hospital Wing," Remus finished. Lily gaped for a second, recovered and resumed pushing her food around her plate, not having eaten in quite some time. She put a small amount of bread in her mouth and nearly gagged it, but managed to swallow it. Before most people even considered leaving, Lily stood up, muttering to Kara and Hazel she had something to do. They assumed it was the library.  
  
She knew it was the Hospital Wing.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: A thing I forgot to mention, this can be in chapters, so expect a longish story! 


	2. Talking

Disclaimer: Well, the letter I sent to J.K. Rowling to say I own this but as of yet, I haven't received a reply.  
  
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Lily peered cautiously through the Hospital Wing doors, trying to decide whether to go in or not. In the end, she pushed the swing doors open, shuffling towards James' bed. His face was slightly flushed, his arm in a sling and he was fast asleep.  
  
Picking up his hand gingerly, she gripped it softly.  
  
"I'm sorry James for this, you getting hurt, and I'm sorry I snapped at you the other day, I've just had really bad news lately," Lily whispered. "When I got that letter the other day, it was to say my parents had been killed by Voldemort. I vowed that he would pay, and he will, but I was so distraught that all I could think about was the pain he has caused. I didn't go to your Quidditch match, I couldn't possibly face you and see you when I was still pained. I hope you understand, but if you're wondering the reason that I'm here, it's mostly because I care for you and because I felt like saying sorry, but when you're conscious, I knew you'd probably scoff. Get well soon, James, the Quidditch team need you," and so do I, she thought. Brushing the thought away, she knelt her head down to his bed and kissed the back of his hand.  
  
James had his eyes closed, but had heard every word she had said. He was torn between showing he was awake and staying silent. He chose silent but he was aching to comfort her.  
  
"I'm sorry James, I really am."  
  
James flinched as Lily squeezed his hand. It wasn't tight, it was her words. He opened his mouth.  
  
"So am I," he murmured.  
  
"James?"  
  
"I'm sorry too."  
  
"You can hear me?" she shrieked. "You heard everything?"  
  
James fluttered his eyes open.  
  
"Yes," he replied. Lily's eyes became wet as tears began to pour down her face.  
  
"He'll pay! He'll pay!" she said defiantly. James squeezed her hand softly before shifting his head to look at her.  
  
"I can't stay, I need to go," she choked. James nodded, catching Sirius, Remus and Peter walking down the corridor.  
  
"Ok."  
  
Lily stood, his hand still laced with hers. The doors to the Hospital Wing opened and she broke her grip abruptly, tearing her eyes away from James'.  
  
"James! Lily?" Sirius questioned. "What -"  
  
"Nothing happened, Lily just came to see me," James said quickly. Seeing Sirius' raised eyebrows, he continued. "Lily was concerned and we had a chat, ok? Deal with it! Nothing happened! Ok, so she held my hand, that was it, I swear!"  
  
"Well, if that's all that happened then maybe Lily would like to stay?" Remus asked pointedly. Lily reddened slightly.  
  
"No, if you don't mind, I have a Transfiguration essay to write, a Potions questionnaire to complete and a Muggle Studies thing to do. I'm sorry but I can't stay. See you 'round James," she murmured, turning her glance to him.  
  
"See you Lil," he responded, nodding his head with a dumbfounded smile on his face. Lily flounced out of the Wing. Remus looked at James.  
  
"What happened to Evans?" he asked.  
  
"Things change, Remus, things change."  
  
"But people don't change, things change people," Sirius commented, watching Lily's slowly retreating figure.  
  
"That might be true, but Lily...I can empathize with her and I feel sorry for her. She needs a friend and she don't got any," James explained. Remus clicked his fingers in front of Sirius' eyes. Sirius turned his head to Remus.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just wondered what planet you were on," James told him slyly. Sirius scowled before pulling up a chair and sat next to James, Remus following suit. Then they launched into the last couple of days' gossip.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Lily scrambled up to the Common Room, her stupidity racing through her mind. Why would she kiss his hand? Why?  
  
As she walked up the stairs, she noticed a letter. Picking it up, she opened it.  
  
'Dear Mr. Potter,  
  
We have bad news of your parents. The evil wizard, You-know-who, has visited your parents. We are sorry to inform you that they are no longer in the world we know. We empathize with your loss. The funeral will be held this Friday and we hope you will attend, though we understand if you don't.  
  
Yours sincerely,  
  
The Ministry of Magic'  
  
So, James' parents were dead too? Poor him. Lily clutched the letter up to her bed. She collapsed onto it, tears streaming down her face.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*  
  
A/N: I can't really do italics so the little '' marked the letter. Anyway, see you next chapter! 


	3. Pitied

Disclaimer: Well, the letter still hasn't arrived.  
  
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James was discharged from the Wing a few days later. He was miserable because he hadn't seen Lily much since their talk. Sirius had noticed.  
  
"Miss Lily?" he asked.  
  
"No," James blurted out.  
  
"You've fallen for her, haven't you?" Sirius questioned, a smile curving his lips.  
  
"Don't be absurd!" James protested. Sirius grinned.  
  
"You have, and don't say against it!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Lily sat haughtily at the Gryffindor table, sighing. Why was life so complicated? Why was Voldemort killing innocent people like her parents and James'? It wasn't until she heard Sirius start laughing that she looked up and saw James.  
  
She smiled weakly at him, plastering a pretty fake smile in reality. James saw her and waved, beaming a smile at her. Lily melted and had it not have been for bones, she was certain she would have been a puddle.  
  
As Lily picked at her bacon, James noticed her quietness. Even Kara and Hazel were talking around her, Lucas included. But Lily? No, she was staring glumly at her breakfast. With a sudden movement, she shot out of her chair and ran out of the hall.  
  
Remus and Sirius looked at her shadow, eyes puzzled. James wasn't surprised that she had left, he knew that she was going to, something about her methodical picking.  
  
"What's with her?" Remus asked again.  
  
"Wouldn't have a clue," Sirius replied, turning his gaze to James.  
  
"Would you?"  
  
"Huh? Oh right, no. Something's different though," he commented. Sirius looked at Remus.  
  
"Told you so," he mouthed. Remus tried hard not to laugh at Sirius' mouth movements. Sirius scowled.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
It wasn't until Lily had even reached the Astronomy Tower that she realised where her feet were taking her. She hadn't been there for years, but it hadn't changed much.  
  
Lily pulled up a pillow, laid herself down and stared out the window. The blue sky shone as the lake gleamed. Being a Saturday, Lily knew that she didn't have any classes. Tomorrow was a Hogsmeade visit, one of the final ones before the Yule Ball.  
  
Lily didn't have a date, and figured that she probably would get one. At that point in time, she realised that no one had signed her permission note, so she wouldn't be able to go to Hogsmeade anyway.  
  
The door opened and Lily swiveled her eyes around to meet James'.  
  
"Hi," she stuttered nervously.  
  
"Hi," he replied. Pulling up a pillow, he sat next to Lily.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry about your parents, I really am. It must be hard," James told her.  
  
"You have no idea," Lily muttered softly. She had thought so many times to just lean forward out of one of the windows in the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"Sorry? Did you say something?"  
  
"No, no I didn't," Lily said quickly. James raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes talking about a loss is easier off your chest," James informed her.  
  
"Oh drop the It-must-be-hard attitude! You don't have parents left now either, or had you forgotten? You must be finding it hard too! But I don't see you saying anything!" Lily snapped. James blinked.  
  
"How do you -"  
  
"I saw the note on the stairs in the Common Room," Lily cut in. James looked at her.  
  
"Don't say anything, will you? I don't want it known," he whispered anxiously. Lily started.  
  
"I wasn't going to, it's personal and I don't start gossip," she said. James sighed and sank into his cushion.  
  
"So, you going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" he asked.  
  
"Possibly not, I don't have a note," she replied shortly.  
  
"Neither do I," he reminded her.  
  
"Well, I can't see anyone signing it, so I probably won't be going."  
  
"But what about the Yule Ball?" he questioned.  
  
"One, I don't have a date. Two, I couldn't care if I go. Oh, and three, I need a dress to wear that I can't possibly get."  
  
"Well, you might get a date, and you should care and you might get a dress," shot James.  
  
"Why?" Lily asked puzzled.  
  
"Because...because I don't have a date either and because you should just care!" he retorted. Lily shrugged.  
  
"Well, I don't, so don't change my mind," she responded, flicking a piece of orange hair over her shoulder. The conversation elapsed into a bit of a lull so Lily sat up a little.  
  
James looked over at her, Lily already gazing. Their green eyes locked as James lent his head into Lily. Turning her head to the side, James halted.  
  
"I can't," she sobbed.  
  
"Ok," he whispered, drawing his head back. Lily squeezed his hand before standing and walking out of the Astronomy Tower.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*  
  
A/N: I have so much more to go! Well, I'll write a little more and hope that you all join me in saying 'Yea!' (Reviews not necessary but prayed for, oh, and flames are going to be used to start a barbecue, fire or the bonfire for my old school books in four years, so don't bother flaming me, I'm not in the mood.) 


	4. Hogsmeade cancelled?

Disclaimer: Refer to past chapters or other stories. I'm sick of this stupid line of saying 'This is not mine'.  
  
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Lily flounced to the library, tears threatening to spill over her face. She slunk into her favourite spot behind a bunch of bookshelves that was quite difficult to see through.  
  
No sooner had Lily sat down, that tears were allowed to flow from her eyes. They cascaded down, spotting the table with marks.  
  
Lily rubbed vigorously at the table, wiping them away. Folding her arms, she put her head in her arms and soon fell into a deep sleep.  
  
~*~*~  
  
James stayed at the Astronomy Tower before deciding that his stomach was going to start coming out of his throat and yelling, 'Hello? I'm hungry!'.  
  
Hurrying to the hall, he sat at the table and grabbed a bread roll. He buttered it and lathered it with some other assorted goodies before taking a big bite. Remus sat on his left and Sirius on his right.  
  
"Where's Lil?" Remus asked, searching the table. James coughed as the bread was swallowed.  
  
"Oh god," he whispered. Sirius turned his head.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I talked to her before and she ran off. Where could she have gone?" he whined, but concerned rather than a child. Kara and Hazel were also casting their eyes up the table. James saw Lucas come in and gave Kara a kiss on the cheek. Lucas saw James and raised an eyebrow questioningly. James merely shrugged.  
  
Hazel turned her head and told Lucas and Kara something. They nodded and she sprinted out of the hall.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Lily? Lily!" Hazel cried in the library. Madam Louise was glaring at her like any librarian, but Hazel smiled sweetly at her. Madam Louise turned away, finding someone else to annoy.  
  
Hazel pushed her way through the bookshelves and remembered Lily's table. She found it and there was Lily slumped over the table.  
  
"Lil?" Hazel whispered. Lily started and sat bolt upright, before groaning from such an uncomfortable nap. Hazel smiled and helped her up, allowing her to stretch.  
  
Then they walked together to the hall where Lucas smiled at her entrance and Kara beamed happily. She saw James glance at her but she quickly tore away her gaze.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Lily stood at the window, peering out from it. A fall would be fatal. A sudden noise and she spun around.  
  
Sirius and Remus had walked in but had stopped when they had seen Lily. Both had smiles that were soon wiped off their faces.  
  
"What...what are you doing?" Remus asked. Lily opened her mouth but was cut off by Sirius.  
  
"You were going to lean out, weren't you?"  
  
"Ten points, Black," she snapped. Sirius scowled. Remus put an arm in front of him.  
  
"Do you need to talk?" Remus inquired softly.  
  
"I might say hi to James, doesn't mean it's mutual to you," Lily said shortly. Sirius' face turned a slight pink.  
  
"Lily, something is up. You can tell us, you know," James commented, walking through the portrait hole. Lily hadn't seen him come in, but was a little scared all of a sudden.  
  
"I...I don't need to talk," she whispered. Remus nudged Sirius with his foot and he tattled some obviously fake excuse about having homework. Neither had homework, Lily knew that, and besides, they never did it.  
  
James walked over to Lily and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and steering her to a couch. They sat and launched into a conversation.  
  
After some hours, some time after midnight, Lily struggled against a yawn. James didn't seem to notice but continued chattering.  
  
Lily slowly lowered her head to James' chest. She nestled it in so she was comfortable and her arms softly ran around James. He stopped short at her movements before knotting his hands behind Lily's back.  
  
He lent his cheek and cradled it in Lil's hair. Lily yawned followed closely by James.  
  
Within ten minutes, both were fast asleep.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Well, someone was up late last night," Sirius whispered to Remus.  
  
"Two someone's. And they obviously became very close or something," Remus commented. Sirius, who had a smirk on his face, strode over to James and rapped him on the head.  
  
James' eyes snapped open and he just managed to realise that Lily was on top of him before he stood up. Stroking her hair softly, her eyes slowly fluttered open and noticed where she was.  
  
Trying desperately not to blush, Lily eased herself off James' chest and stood, brushing her skirt down before hurrying up the stairs to get changed.  
  
"So?" Sirius asked mischievously, his eyes twinkling.  
  
"So what?" James asked.  
  
"So, what happened?"  
  
"Nothing. Honestly! The only thing we did was talk about a whole lot of stuff that's on our minds, but we did absolutely nothing else. It was around one o'clock in the morning I think and we fell asleep. Other than that, nothing else happened," James replied earnestly. Remus looked at Sirius.  
  
"What did you talk about?" Remus asked, turning back to James.  
  
"Stuff that is confidential," James snapped. It was Sirius' turn to look at Remus.  
  
"Can't you say something to put the dirt on Evans?" Sirius questioned.  
  
"Look, we have mutual understandings. We have stuff in common. We have stuff that neither has told anything else, ok? So just lay off," James responded angrily.  
  
"What haven't you told us? And what could you possibly have in common with her?" Sirius frowned.  
  
"Is that a trick question? Because I just told you that it is confidential as well as I haven't told you!" James yelled.  
  
"James, man. Cool off!" Remus cried. James suddenly realised he had been yelling and turned away, angry now with himself. Suddenly, he bolted up the stairs when he noticed the time.  
  
~*~*~  
  
James grabbed a bit of toast before it dawned on him. He wasn't going to Hogsmeade. Only Lily knew why, the permission slip stuff. He could have screamed but remained calm.  
  
"Can I have your attention please students?" Professor McGonagall yelled over the din in the hall, tapping her glass with her spoon. The hall silenced quickly and the students turned their heads. Dumbledore stood up, brushing his beard.  
  
"There have been some problems with Hogsmeade this year. It will still be going ahead, but I must see Miss Evans and Mr. Potter of Gryffindor before you are allowed to leave. If you would like, you can see me now," Dumbledore announced, scanning the crowd for the pair. He spotted them and smiled kindly.  
  
James and Lily nodded before standing and walking out of the hall, Dumbledore excused himself and strode after them.  
  
They stood congregated outside the hall doors as Dumbledore walked out.  
  
"I'm guessing you know what this is about?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, the permission slips. The fact no one knows," Lily replied politely. Dumbledore nodded.  
  
"Yes, I know that they are no longer...with us in this life, so that you have no permission for the Hogsmeade tour. But under the circumstances, I am able, will and have given you permission for the journeys, if that is fine with you pair?" Dumbledore offered.  
  
"Yes," Lillian and James answered in unison. Dumbledore dipped his head before returning into the hall. James and Lily looked at each other for some time in silence.  
  
"Well, that's great," James started uneasily.  
  
"Yeah," Lily replied.  
  
"I...I...I'm sorry about last night."  
  
"Don't be!" Lily exclaimed quickly.  
  
James gazed at her. "Why?"  
  
"It...it was nice talking and...and I enjoyed it," Lily stammered.  
  
"I liked it too," James whispered. Lily sighed, relieved. She turned to go back to the hall before James grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him. They were alarmingly close and bells went off in Lily's head.  
  
Before Lily could move or do anything, James had put his arms around Lily in a hug. Lily started slightly but recovered quickly and snaked her arms around his waist.  
  
Somewhere, a mouse must have squeaked because as strangely as the hug had started, it abruptly stopped. Lily looked away and walked quickly back into the hall.  
  
James gazed after Lily before walking over to a wall and sinking over to it.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Oh, Lily! That looks gorgeous!" Hazel squealed. Lily blushed. She looked back in the mirror, but shook her head. The emerald green was nice on her hair, but not her skin.  
  
"Ooh! I found it!" Kara yelled. Hazel and Lily rushed over to where Kara was holding up a slightly darker than sky blue dress. Lily glided a hand down it lovingly.  
  
"Try it on, Lil! Try it on!" Hazel begged.  
  
"Oh...alright!" Lily gave in. She clutched the dress in her hands before bouncing into the change rooms for the fifth time. Five minutes later, she unlocked the door.  
  
"Lil, that is your dress!" Kara said earnestly. Lily looked in the mirror. The dress did look stunning, she had to admit.  
  
It was a scoop neck that had a thin line of beads around it. It hugged her figure closely and Lily felt just a little self-conscious.  
  
"We found these shoes too!" Hazel commanded her. They had a light brown heal, but were mostly a metallic blue strappy type of shoe.  
  
Lily slipped them on and twirled around. She gasped in happiness and Hazel squealed again.  
  
Both were oblivious to James, Remus and Sirius who had just walked by. James had nearly cried out at Lily but managed to keep walking, his arms ladled with Honeydukes chocolate.  
  
~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~~ *~*~~*~*~~*~*~~*~*~  
  
A/N: Slightly longer than usual but I haven't written much in ages so I had heaps to spill out. Otherwise, my next chapter should be up pretty soon! 


	5. An early Yule ball

Disclaimer: Blah blah not mine blah blah blah  
  
A/N: This chapter is based on the Yule Ball by Aleximoon in 'Their Room'. I highly recommend reading that story. It is grrreat!  
  
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Lily set off for Honeydukes, excusing herself from Kara and Lucas. They nodded, allowing her to go, and she hurried out of the Three Broomsticks quickly.  
  
As she walked, she saw a dark, huddled shape in an alley way. Lily frowned, turned and took a few tentative steps in.  
  
"Er...hello?" she asked. The hood was raised and fell back.  
  
"Severus?" Lily gasped. His eyes were bloodshot, his face white and blood casting rivulets. Severus nodded. Lily muttered a quick healing charm, 'Sanguine Desine', and ran off.  
  
She sprinted into Honeydukes before shuffling along the walls, browsing at the different types of candy. The door clanged open as Lily wondered if she should get a Zonko's mouth popping bar.  
  
Warm arms wrapped around Lily's waist and she breathed.  
  
"It's only me," James whispered. Lily breathed out and placed her hand on James'.  
  
"I...I need to go," she stammered. James looked hurt but Lily turned and sprinted out of the shop. She didn't stop until she reached the common room.  
  
The bag with her dress was flung to the floor as Lily fell onto her bed, panting, sweating and falling asleep.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Just ask her already!" Sirius complained at breakfast a few days later. Remus nodded in agreement.  
  
"It's getting boring, your long face and continual moaning."  
  
"Yeah, you sound like Myrtle," Peter joked as he passed. James scowled angrily.  
  
"Look, it's a lot harder than you think, ok?"  
  
"What ever you say, Jamie boy!" Sirius teased. James turned to him.  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot," he whispered dangerously.  
  
"Prongs!" Remus countered. "Don't give it away!"  
  
"Who asked you Moony?" James said quietly. Remus and Sirius blanched a little.  
  
"Look, both of you, just shut up."  
  
Remus and Sirius nodded slightly.  
  
James stood from his breakfast abruptly before returning to the Common Room.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Just go!" a voice said to Lily. "Just lean a little more...go on."  
  
Lily glanced around her. Everyone was at breakfast. No one would come here now. She took a deep breath and stepped up closer to the window.  
  
The Secare quill was gripped tightly in her hand. She drew a line along the window ledge, a cut searing her left arm. Lily didn't even flinch.  
  
She dropped the quill mindlessly at her feet and leaned out. The portrait hole opened, but she didn't know who it was.  
  
The rush of air whizzed past her ears, the ground looming closer and closer. She was going to do it. She was going to meet up with her parents again.  
  
With a jolt, she was floating. The ground had stopped moving closer, the air had stopped rushing. The ground began to move further and further away. Lily was going up, not down. She was forced to float upright and she glided through a window.  
  
Lily collapsed on the floor. She hadn't fainted, just angry and annoyed that her plan had failed again.  
  
"Lillian?" James whimpered. Lily looked up, ashen faced. Oh no! He's caught me now! I'll have to be in his company all the time!  
  
"What...why did you do that?"  
  
"Don't you know? No one needs me in this life. I have nothing to live for." she snapped.  
  
"What about the Yule Ball? I need you, I lost my parents too, you know," he replied softly, kneeling next to her.  
  
"Look, Potter, you know I'm not going to talk about it much and I'm sure not going to encourage it," Lily said sharply.  
  
"Don't call me Potter."  
  
"Don't -" Lily started, before a pair of lips pressed against hers cut her off. She swallowed her sentence as James nibbled at her bottom lip. Lily opened her mouth to say something but James dived in to her throat with his tongue. As much as she might have been enjoying it, Lily came to her senses when James' fingers began to trail down her front.  
  
She ripped her mouth away, realised her hand was draped across his chin and tore that away too. James blushed and looked away. Lily wiped her lips with her sleeve and gazed at her shoes.  
  
"I'm sorry," James whispered. Lily just stared. "I shouldn't have done that."  
  
"No, you shouldn't have," Lily said angrily. James tipped her head up to meet his, at least for some eye contact.  
  
"Look, I was wondering," he began.  
  
"There's a shock," Lily retorted.  
  
"Shut up. No, I was wondering if...if...if you'd go to the Yule Ball with me," he gushed. Lily looked into his deep, gazing eyes. They searched hers, looking for a kind of truth or decision.  
  
"I...I'd love to," she whispered. James' face broadened into a grin. His eyes danced with happiness and he gave Lily a quick kiss on the lips.  
  
"Come on, Lil. Otherwise we'll be late!" he suddenly cried, grabbing her hand.  
  
Lily glanced at her watch before hurling her bag onto her shoulder and running after James to Potions.  
  
~*~*~  
  
The next few weeks passed in a blur. Decorations began to be ordered, teachers relaxed and students...well, they studied. All except for James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.  
  
"So you asked her?" Sirius exclaimed excitedly.  
  
"Hmm...let's see. She's going to the ball, she doesn't mind read, erm...duh!" Remus replied. Sirius scowled.  
  
"Ok, ok. Dumb question Moony."  
  
"You know, she seems happier than she has been in a long time," James commented absently. The others nodded.  
  
"Yep."  
  
It wasn't until some days later that Lily actually asked him what he was wearing.  
  
"Just a black tux, I think," he replied.  
  
"Oh good. I've got a -"  
  
"Blue dress. I saw you trying it on. It really does look stunning," he told her. She blushed.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
~*~*~  
  
The day had arrived.  
  
Lily spent the entire day making sure her dress was crease free and every bead sat perfectly. Her hair was pulled into a high pony tail with a dark blue ribbon hanging loose. A few strands of fringe hung limply around her face, framing it.  
  
As Lily stepped into her dress, she knew it was going to be a fantastic night. The grounds had been transformed into a winter wonderland, everything carved out of ice. Bewitched snow fell from the sky, but it didn't gather on the grounds, just vanished. If Lily stuck her hand out the window she could catch the snow and retain it. Obviously the ground had a spell on it.  
  
She tied up her shoes, applied a little pink lipstick, light blue eye shadow and a small amount of blush and mascara.  
  
Nodding contentedly, she whirled for her dorm girls and then proceeded down the stairs to James.  
  
"You look...beautiful," he decided. Again, Lily blushed. They linked arms and strode down to the charmed Great Hall.  
  
The tables had been cleared away. A huge Christmas tree stood in the middle, an assortment of popping gifts below. Every time someone tried to pick one up, they buzzed angrily.  
  
Snow fell from the roof but refreshed itself at a certain height. A band was singing softly in the background as couples danced. James went and received some punch for himself and a lemonade for Lily.  
  
"Thanks," she murmured when he returned. He grinned wickedly at her before asking her for a dance. She consented and they put their drinks down on a table together.  
  
James stumbled a little at the beginning, purely out of nervousness, but then set in to a swaying, gentle rhythm. Lily had to agree that he wasn't bad when he got going. Her head barely touched his shoulder, so she was forced to lean it on his chest, breathing in his aftershave.  
  
Some dances later, Lily excused herself and went and sort after Kara and Hazel. Kara was with Lucas having a drink whilst Hazel, Lily was surprised, was dancing with Sirius. They hadn't come as a couple, maybe it was just an innocent dance.  
  
Lily collected some more lemonade before walking outside, carefully avoiding being spotted.  
  
The lake had been frozen over. Large shapes had been carved out of ice. There were swans and dogs, cats, frogs, fairies and other animals that Lily couldn't name that decorated the ground with an icy glow. There were no lights, but the ice simply gleamed.  
  
A large fountain stood in the middle. Water poured out of the top, trickled down the sides and froze, then disappeared. Lily reached out a hand and drew it back quickly. It wasn't frozen cold, it was pleasantly warm.  
  
She walked around, admiring the shapes and animals. A few times she took a drink of her lemonade before she realised that it had actually frozen over.  
  
She rounded a bend and found an ice bench. Lifting her dress, she sat and looked around, a small smile curving her face.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Have you seen Lily?" James bellowed to Remus and Sirius over the noise.  
  
"No! I think I saw her go outside though some time ago!" Remus yelled back. James nodded his thanks before striding outside. He had to gasp at the sheer beauty of the grounds. He tried to walk quickly around the icy pillars, desperately hoping that Lily hadn't frozen. He got annoyed and sat on a bench type structure.  
  
Glancing up, he noticed a passing blur in a blue dress. Getting to his feet quickly, James skated around the corners and eventually found Lily.  
  
"Hey!" he called. She turned around and smiled at him.  
  
"Wondered where you went! You just seemed to disappear," he informed her.  
  
"I had to come out here and admire all this. Sorry I didn't say anything," she replied, embarrassed.  
  
"I can't stop you from doing things like this, coming outside. I'm responsible if you fall out a window, but not if you want to gasp at the ice shapes."  
  
Lily smiled happily at his try at a joke.  
  
"Yeah, well, if you hadn't been so stressed about asking me to the Ball, I probably would've been a scrambled person right now," she joked back.  
  
"Lil, this isn't something to joke about. Seriously, you could be dead now."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Blah blah blah! I know that that could be the case, but it isn't so anyway," she trailed off. James pulled her into an awkward embrace. Lily started for a moment before joining her hands around James' waist.  
  
"Please Lily," he began.  
  
"Please? What?" she asked, pulling away to look at him.  
  
"Please don't leave me. Please don't go and fall. Please don't -" he was cut off by Lily pulling his head down to meet her mouth.  
  
It wasn't a particularly romantic kiss, just one to shut his rambling up. Her right hand hooked into his hair to keep his head down.  
  
"What was that?" James asked when it was finished.  
  
"Something to tell you to shut up," she sniggered. He frowned playfully.  
  
They linked hands and swayed softly to the music drifting over their heads from the Hall. Lily didn't know the song but she enjoyed James' company.  
  
Snowflakes fell softly into her hair, burying themselves under strands. Her ribbon fell limply at her side and her dress hung off her figure beautifully.  
  
Lily felt at that moment that she was glad she had been stopped on the plunge to her death. She was glad that she was in James' arms. She was glad that her parents had died. She was glad that she now had a friend like James.  
  
She was glad that things were starting to get better.  
  
More than anything, she was starting to think that she was falling for James. Something nearly every girl in sixth year had done earlier. Something she had only just done.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: WHOA! That was a very long chapter compared to normal. With the paragraphing stuff it took me eight pages. Without it, probably four. But compared, it's still longer! Thanks everyone that may have reviewed and I hope you'll go to the next chapter!  
  
And translations:  
  
Sanguine Desine - Blood, stop  
  
Secare - to cut  
  
Both translations come from the very wonderful Cyropi, Fifth year Latin learner. Find her at Fawkes Ashes (link in Bio), Fave stories or Search/Find! She'll translate anything, but you have to be fairly detailed as to what you want. 


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